Fusion is integration of Parts of self. It’s going from “not me” to “me”, accepting that more of your mind is part of that mind.
It’s letting down the walls drawn within you. It’s living on a level that goes above your parts- finding that there’s a mind at all. You become more than yourself.
Fusion is less about making brain soup and more about bringing everything into conscious awareness, then accepting it all as yours. It’s reconciling your own complexities and contradictions, deciding that no part of you is going to be left rejected, and finding a way for all of yourself to move in parallel, all present, all alive. Nothing is pushed away. Everything is welcome. It’s the smoothest cooperation you can imagine. It’s a flow state of the self.
Fusion is coming into your own Presence and finding that it’s turtles all the way down, but learning that you don’t have to be unbroken to be whole. It’s the realization that just as you’re all part of something bigger outside, you’re part of something bigger on the inside too. It’s connecting the links of a chain that you didn’t know needed forging until after the fact. It’s self-love. It’s finally trusting yourself.
It’s letting go of the need to draw all these lines. Instead, you learn to hold it all as needed. Whatever’s here is here, and you’re glad it exists. You’re alive for the ride.
It’s also frustratingly hard to get there. Alters need chances to heal and soften so they can be fully accepted and fully accept you in turn. They have to be willing and ready to let down their guard and trust everything else in your mind. You can’t rush or force a fusion. It happens when it happens.
Sometimes it un-happens and re-happens. Learning to be yourself is a process, not a single event. Be patient with yourself if you take this path. There’s no rush.
The Clinical Perspective
For individuals with DID or OSDD-1, some or all of their parts likely go beyond simple containers of traumatic materials, and the parts may have strongly developed independent senses of autonomy and self. The individual must then make the choice of to what extent they want to integrate their alters as part of their healing.
Again, some degree of integration is inevitable. The individual must integrate traumatic materials in order to heal from PTSD. As well, enough integration between alters must occur to allow for easy communication, a lack of dissociative amnesia between parts, and a consistent sense of being grounded in the present and in the body. The individual must be able to take responsibility for all of the system’s actions, and all alters in the system should work together towards the same goals. Another goal of reduced dissociative barriers between parts is being able to freely access skills, memories, and traits without these being dependent on the alter present.
In order to fully integrate two or more alters (which the ISST-D refers to as “fusion,” with “final fusion” referring to a complete integration of all dissociated parts), the individual needs to take ownership of all thoughts, feelings, memories, urges, skills, and other traits that were previously associated with those parts of the self. Integration is complete when there are no subjective differences between the parts involved; only one sense of self remains. This can happen spontaneously, when conflicts or dissonance between the alter and one or more other alters are resolved; with the help of “fusion rituals”, such as imagery representing unification; or after negotiation between parts and an agreement to integrate.
Katherine Reuben, Integration, 2021 Note: others have noted that this source does have biases and presents some unverified theories as fact (e.g. that DID only develops before a specific age, which is neither proven nor in the criteria). It’s unfortunately still the best source I could dig up for a definition of integration and fusion.
Short Quotes on Fusion
I’ve been realizing these past few months how final fusion, for me, can be described as making sense of my identity and who I’d like to be… I have all of the parts of me, of my life, my experiences, and they’ve largely been connected up to each other and pieced together - however, now is the part where I sit with it and make sense of what it all means to me and what I want to do with it. If the progress leading up to final fusion was me learning about where I came from, my past, what made me ‘me’ - then what comes after is making sense of who I will be going forward.
hiiragi7, Tumblr, 2024
No one is gone. No one stopped existing. I am every alter I’ve ever been all at once. Instead of my alters being separate and feeling rushed for time when they front or feeling stuck in the trauma that made them split, they are all able to express themselves whenever they want and engage in things outside of their narrow roles.
Fusion feels like alters holding hands. Fusion feels like love. Fusion feels like a hug. Fusion feels like a warm drink on a cold rainy day. No one could fuse without their full consent. And if some alter someday comes out of dormancy and doesn’t want to fuse, we won’t make them. But what we will do is love them and continue to love each other.
Also, final fusion is… not as final as you’d think. I am able to separate myself if I need a certain alter’s perspective. The difference is that it’s within my control rather than me constantly being triggered and scared.
starringmycoffee, Tumblr, 2025
The metaphor I like is of melting ice. Before the abuse started, my spirit was like a pond where each part flowed into the next. The abuse caused the pond to ice over, and repeated abuse caused the ice to split off into separate chunks, which is what I experienced as alter parts. I was still one pond even though I felt like a bunch of separate chunks of ice. Integration happened by melting the ice back into water through the warmth of self-love. Nothing was lost – it was just experienced in a different way.
When I am not dissociative, I experience the world around me differently, as if I have been beamed into my life and am really “here.” I will have moments of feelings extremely present like that, which I see as a guide for where I am heading. However, I don’t stay in that place for long periods of time.
Most of my progress is gradual. As an example, I will find myself getting overstimulated by sights, sounds, or smells as I move into a deeper level of integration because, thanks to living most of my life in a dissociated state, I haven’t had to deal with overstimulation. I would simply switch from one part to the next and avoid having see, hear, or smell whatever I didn’t want to process. Being integrated means experiencing the good and the bad – being present to enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass but also present to get the waft of a garbage can.
Faith Allen, Integration from DID: Phases of Integration, 2012
The feeling of everything moving in unison, aware that it’s complex but able to move the full weight of self at once, fully comfortable in its contradictions and centered in something more than any of the components that led that direction. The feeling of knowing the meaning of “sum of my parts”. The release from the need to know.
Self-authored, fusion, 2025
On Fusion and Functional Multiplicity
At this point, what we used to call “Wishiwashi Recovery” we kind of have taken to just calling “full integration” generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of “final fusion” and “functional multiplicity”, as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two separate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration.
It’s a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the “one’s bad and one’s good” syscourse is dumb. They’re two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing.
Functional Multiplicity Pros:
- A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions
- It’s honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense
- Easier to let certain parts of the brain take “breaks” - it’s not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can “tune out” easier than not
- More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online
- Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it
- Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Final Fusion Pros:
- Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier
- It’s honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you’ve lived as
- You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.
- More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces
- Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation
- Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Functional Multiplicity Cons:
- Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life
- Sometimes you can get what I call “lite” amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn’t fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven “amnesia”. It’s small and easily recovered by simply going “hold up wait” and thinking back or asking another part
- Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only “harder” relative to final fusion
- Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Final Fusion Cons:
- Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective
- It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts
- Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don’t “lose” the skills, you just aren’t accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them
- Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once
System of a Feather, Tumblr, 2025
Pointers on Fusion
I think when it comes to seeking final fusion - or as I prefer to call it “full integration / a state of being fully integrated / full fusion” since I really dislike the connotation of the word “final” - it’s kind of best to not really seek it out too much.
By that I mean that I found that whenever I “tried to fuse and integrate because I want final fusion” I found that I actually made slower progress and arguably - at some points - reverse progress in the sense I became more dissociative and had more conflicts with parts. Maybe it’s the Buddhist in me, but I find that fusion is one of those things that is actually deceivingly simple and natural and as a result, actively chasing or seeking it out tends to make it more complicated as you start to have to deal with what you Think Fusion Is rather than just simply experiencing it.
I think the best way to kind of progress with integration and fusion is largely to just kind of throw out a lot of notions of late stage recovery other than a “that would be a nice result” and just focus on learning about yourselves, building relationships with yourselves, and developing hobbies and interests that parts can engage with together. The level of which parts are connected, integrated, and/or fused tends to just kind of come along the journey of building a very strong, very firm, and supportive relationship with your parts.
I think a lot of people think of final fusion as this phenomenon where parts disappear and a new person is formed - and while that might be the way it is for some people - for me its a lot more like slowly becoming co-con with another part so much to the point you don’t have to explicitly internally talk to be on the same page and experience things together.
In that sense, I think focusing too much on what parts are doing what and where they are in the stage of fusion can really kind of “backtrack” the fusion (Which! Is not bad! Sometimes fusions don’t work the best and don’t work well for the situation and its better to say ‘yeah no this isn’t working’ and backtrack. I 100% support undoing fusions if they don’t work and we’ve done is SEVERAL times on the way to where we are now; undoing a fusion also doesn’t mean final fusion is impossible; it just means those two as they are are likely not the best combo).
It’s honestly really just as simple as just kind of learning to love, care, support, share, and enjoy life with your parts and the more universal that support, love, and care is throughout the system, the more integrated and possibly fused you’ll find yourselves becoming.
It really wasn’t this sudden night or day phenomenon for me as much as it was a realization that I really didn’t cling or see myself much as any specific part and that most of the time, the days I did identify as primarily a specific part (let alone ONLY as a specific part) became the odd days whereas me just being “me and all the parts around idk” became the norm.
System of a Feather, Tumblr, 2025
Understanding Integration (Excerpts)
When I read material written by individuals who fear integration and choose to stay dissociative, I sense that the decision is based on inadequate understanding. It is very human to fear things we do not understand. Fear of the unknown holds people back, whether DID or non-DID. Without more information about integration and trauma recovery, how can individuals with DID be informed consumers and make knowledgeable choices?
At the most basic level, integration simply means acceptance/ownership of all thoughts, feelings, fears, beliefs, experiences and memories (often labeled as personalities) as me/mine. It means giving up the split(s) that says something is “not me.” Integration is more than about personalities. It is about full acceptance of all dissociated aspects of oneself. Integration is a process not an event. It occurs throughout therapy (and outside of therapy) as dissociated aspects of one’s self become known, accepted and integrated into normal awareness. It is a natural process in the recovery from trauma. It brings a kind of peace that comes with fully accepting and loving yourself.
Integration occurs when I accept a dissociated personality, part, or aspect of myself and bring it into normal awareness. It is not about getting rid of or killing off a part of myself. When I maintain the split and say it is “not me,” I am implicitly rejecting that part of myself. Essentially, integration is fully embracing each and every part/aspect of myself.
Full acceptance allows greater self-control and choices. This is true not just for individuals with DID, but for non-DID as well. For example, when I deny, reject or dissociate that I have a problem with binge eating, I am not able to work on the problem. When I admit/accept that I have the problem, I can take action to deal with my feelings and choose new ways to handle the problem. With DID, when I deny/reject a part of myself that wants to cut/hurt me, I can’t control that part of myself. When I incorporate that part of myself I gain control and choices.
I feel sad when I read accounts by individuals with DID who choose to stay dissociative. I fear they do not understand integration as a natural part of the healing process. I remember after I integrated all of the personalities, I was surprised that I still had all of the thoughts and feelings that had been labeled as personalities. I came to realize that the personalities were always and only a collection of thoughts, feelings, experiences and memories that had been separated from normal awareness and from other collections of thoughts, feelings, experiences and memories. After my final integration, I realized that the personalities were a way to describe my internal experience. With therapy, I changed my internal experience and learned new ways to describe my inner thoughts and feelings.
I went through many phases as I integrated the personalities (thoughts, feelings, experiences, and memories). My first integration in 1987 was an exhilarating experience. It was also quite interesting. I lost my voice. It was as if I didn’t know what voice to use without the dissociated parts speaking. With that integration I gained freedom from PTSD, flashbacks, and inconsistent adult functioning. I began to have more normal relationships with my family and friends. I had hope for a full recovery from the trauma.
All of this changed when external traumatic events overwhelmed me and the integrated personalities became separate again. I was devastated. I had had a taste of freedom and peace and I couldn’t hold on to it. My therapist was reassuring and saw no reason why I couldn’t regain the lost ground. I had simply gone back to my familiar defenses in the face of new trauma.
As I continued in therapy I had many experiences of integration followed by disintegration. With the help of my therapist, I learned to view this as a natural process, not a series of failures. I needed practice at being integrated and learning to use new defenses. I stayed determined to achieve stability and freedom through permanent integration.
Before I could achieve a permanent and stable integration I had to make some major changes in my therapy and in my life. I agreed to take psychiatric medication that I had refused for years. I admitted I was an alcoholic/addict and participated in twelve-step recovery. I became willing to try new therapy approaches. I dealt with and gave up the feeling of being special as a person with DID. My therapist used to joke that my treatment goal was to become boring, average, and normal. I agreed as long as he defined normal by California standards (I am from California and a California girl at heart).
My final integration took place over three months in the spring of 1990. I did not participate in any ceremonies or rituals when the personalities merged. I did not experience a sense of the personalities blending into the host personality or into each other. The integration/full acceptance of all parts of myself was based on a series of decisions and shift in therapeutic tasks.
The decision to stop talking about myself in the third person
The first decision was to stop talking in the third person or referring to any thoughts, feelings, or fears as “not me.” By this time, I was mostly co-conscious for the personalities. I was maintaining the dissociative buffer out of habit and fear. I verbally made myself claim everything as me. For example, I might be thinking, “she is afraid of living alone.” But I said, “It feels uncomfortable to admit this but I am afraid of living alone.” The idea and choice to work this way was mine. Somehow I sensed that this linguistic process would move me toward healing and integration. This shift in how I talked was a critical element in my final integration.
Early in this process I sometimes needed to say things like “It doesn’t feel like my feelings but I am angry at you.” Talking this way meant I had to acknowledge my feelings. This process of claiming my feelings, thoughts, and experiences resulted in a natural process of acceptance/integration. It was difficult at first but with time became easier and easier. It felt freeing to claim my whole self. Eventually referring to myself in the third person felt strange and uncomfortable.
As things shifted inside, I discovered that it was OK and manageable to accept/integrate the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and memories. In a way integration is like learning to swim. I had to get in the water to do it. For me the only way to cope with integration was to integrate.
The decision to directly experience internal conflict
Another decision that I made was to allow myself to directly experience internal conflict. Previously different personalities handled different points of view. It was necessary to negotiate between personalities to handle different preferences and opinions. When I consciously claimed the diverse thoughts as mine I discovered that it was OK to have different thoughts and feelings. I could have different viewpoints and still choose how I wanted to act in the present.
When I was dissociated, I had parts of me that believed in God and went to church. Other parts of me didn’t have any connection to God and never went to church. It seemed my attending church and going on spiritual retreats was dependent on which personality was strongest at the time. After I accepted my mixed feelings about God and going to church I was able to choose to regularly attend church while still recognizing and respecting the different feelings.
The examination of trauma-based beliefs
Part of the process of integrating was examining beliefs I had acquired growing up with the ongoing abuse. As a child I learned that having feelings was bad. I learned to hide my feelings in different personalities and fragments. Before I could integrate a wide variety of feelings I had to change my beliefs about having feelings. I came to understand that feelings are a natural aspect of being human. I came to recognize we are born with the innate capacity for feelings. I learned to modulate my feelings and choose how I wanted to handle them. Claiming my feelings was one more way of not letting the abuse control my life.
Acceptance of negative aspects of myself
One of the hardest aspects of integrating/accepting the whole was accepting the parts of me that wanted to hurt others. Because I found these thoughts unacceptable they had to stay dissociated. I made a conscious decision to accept negative, hostile, and hurtful thoughts as one aspect of being human. By this time in the therapy the dangerous and violent personalities had changed. They no longer acted on thoughts and feelings. They were able to separate the past from the present.
The therapeutic task was to integrate/accept my hurtful thoughts toward others. The integration was made possible by learning non-dissociative coping for handling the thoughts. For example, I learned to self-talk my way through the feelings. I could say to myself, “It is human to have hurtful thoughts. It is understandable after all the abuse I suffered that I occasionally think of hurting others.” I discovered that the hateful thoughts often were a way to avoid feeling vulnerable. When I allowed myself to feel a wide range of feelings the angry/hurtful thoughts would recede and pass.
The realization that nothing is lost
When people ask if you lose parts of yourself when you integrate, I often want to chuckle. I would have been glad to lose the angry/hurtful/hateful parts of myself. I would have liked to not have negative feelings. But integration is accepting the whole me. Even as I integrated/accepted the positive parts of me, I also accepted the negative parts of me. It’s all there. Nothing is lost.
There is a kind of paradox with integration. One of the fears expressed by individuals with DID who choose not to integrate is that parts of the self will be lost, disappear, or die. The reality is that after integration the parts of the self are actually closer and more real than ever. The dissociative barrier is gone and the aspects of the self are now experienced directly.
Maintaining long-term integration takes work just as maintaining long-term sobriety takes work. I try to stay on top of my feelings and not push any of them aside. Hidden feelings are the fodder for dissociation. I do this primarily by talking with friends. Sometimes, I write in my journal or write poetry. I ask for help when I need it and have returned for therapy depending on the issues that have come up. I invest in my relationships and send birthday cards and thank you notes. I make certain my life doesn’t get too busy. I schedule down time, ranging from all day in my nightgown to a weekend of spiritual retreat. This is important since I have discovered exhaustion or over stimulation leaves me vulnerable to intense feelings. I try to eat sensibly and exercise regularly. I see my medical doctor when I have symptoms that need evaluation. I still don’t watch violent movies. I respect my past and try to live in the present.
Rachel Downing, Understanding Integration, 2003
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