Labels are just language. They try to describe something you experience. They might do a good job of that, or they might be totally wrong, but they’re all attempts to describe you. They do not change what you are underneath. They do not control your experiences. You could call yourself an orange, but it will not magically turn you into an orange.
I think that a lot of people get caught in this trap. They think that their labels define them. If someone changes their label, that can shake up everything they thought they knew about themselves.
In reality, changing a label doesn’t change who you are. It can help you change who you are if you want it to, but using a different word doesn’t make you instantly transform. It doesn’t make your experiences go away or invalidate you. No matter what you call it, something is still going on.
Language is just a tool, and it’s important to remember that. Focus on what helps you and don’t worry too much about what you call it.
Labels are all just words in the end. They’re not magic spells that decide reality. You could call me a “skrunglewhapper” and it wouldn’t really change anything about me, just be a silly set of sounds that someone put an arbitrary meaning to.
I don’t control how other people see me. I can use all the words I want and try to impress my idea of what they mean on them so they get some better reflection of me, but their experiences with language will always be filtered through their own brain, which in turn is shaped by their life experiences that are out of my control too. How they see me is fundamentally shaped by who they are and where they’ve been.
People use the words that make sense to them, and that’s a lens into how they see the world. But all that matters is whether it’s practical enough to work with. If it’s way off in a way that causes outright problems in communication or collaboration, then I might nudge. But most of the time, it works well enough that it doesn’t matter if they call you a bouba or a kiki. You both get the idea. The words did their job.